“If you don’t have a life plan, you will just become part of someone else’s.”
That is what life planning guru Louis Vollebregt said to me recently. It really resonated with me. Do I want my life to just be part of someone else’s plan?
My life expectancy is 92 years according to Aviva’s online calculator. If I am lucky enough to make it, I would be really annoyed to think I had lived another person's life plan, even if I loved that person very much. Surely the only way to live a truly fulfilled life, is to have my own life plan; one that I actually execute and make a success of.
Also, do I want that same person - who again, I love very much - to feel that they have lived by my life plan in the reverse scenario? Well, no, we are different people. The chances of us having the same aspirations, wishes, desires and dreams are slim. However that doesn’t mean we aren’t compatible, nor that many things won’t overlap.
I also fundamentally believe that there aren’t many things more important in life than having a fulfilled life partner. How might they achieve that if they’re just living my most convenient life?
So, as far as I am concerned, you need to have a life plan. Your partner or loved one needs to know what your life plan is, but equally importantly they also need a life plan of their own. You then need to understand how each other’s life plan makes them feel and give one another the courage to achieve it.
And then, when you do reach the ripe old age of 92, you can look at each other comfortable in the knowledge that you haven't simply lived a life dictated by the more dominant partner, but have fulfilled your own individual goals and dreams. And best of all, you did it together. Sign me up.
Alfie Mullan, July 2018